Malaprop(ism) ns. ludicrous misuse of word, esp. in mistake of one resembling it. (According to the Oxford English Dictionary).

A recent correspondence with a columnist for the Saturday Star newspaper revealed some of the more amusing examples that turn up on his desk.

“He was one of the guests that were reportedly invited on an all expensive paid trip.”  If this was about one of our politicians then it is probably quite close to the truth. They are very expensive people, especially when it comes to spending other people’s money.

“The new labratory will ensure speedy sample testing for avian influenza and other animal deceases.”  I guess they only test for fatal diseases. Too bad if it’s not going to kill you.

“the fact that his dinner was the last allowed him to sass out the opposition.” Everyone’s dream – let’s sass that opposition!

“The sanction or sentence of Comrades Floyd Shivambu and Sindiso Magaqa is out of quilt with established rules.” – They will be “out of quilt” as they have had quite a padded lifestyle up to now, somewhat out of kilter with the people they represent.

“The people who are really poor and disabled are overlooked as they fall along the waste side.” Sadly this one is all too true!

“in the probable Bafana startling XI.”  I feel this way about decisions made by our national sports coaches  most of the time.

“He had multiple fractions and bleeding on the brain.”  Probably what most students suffer when they have to sit a maths exam.

And my favourite: referring to an anti-climax as a “damp squid“.  A wonderful malapropism that inspired the sketch above.



Squibs, squid and many-tentacled technicalities
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